Swan Queen Shippers Anonymous
by Adorkablenerd21
Summary: Some of the people of Storybrooke have a serious problem-they can't stop shipping Emma and Regina together. Granny decides to start a support group.
1. Chapter 1

**SQSA MEETING—1-12-2013**

**Granny: **So this is the first meeting of Swan Queen Shippers Anonymous. Are you getting all of this, Belle?

**Belle: **Yes. I'm even typing what I'm saying right now.

**Granny: ***nods* Okay, then. Welcome everyone. This is a support group for people who have started 'shipping' Emma Swan and Regina Mills together, a relationship that will probably never get anywhere, other than tentative allies at best. This is a group to help us all get over our Swan Queen obsession, because, as you probably guessed, I am addicted as well.

**Ruby: **She blames me for it.

**Granny: ***turns to Ruby and frowns* Well if you hadn't introduced me to that damn website…stumbler or whatever, I wouldn't be fangirling every time I see them in the same room.

**Archie**: It's tumblr.

**Mary Margaret**: Tumblr.

**Ruby: **So the fact that they have undeniable sexual chemistry, and the fact that Emma has saved Regina's life 5 times is my fault?

**Belle: **No, Red. Don't blame yourself.

**Granny: ***clears throat* Okay, why don't we get started? Who would like to go first?

**Mary Margaret: **I'd like to, if that's okay. *gets up* "Hi, My name is Snow White, and I am a swan queen shipper. I know you're probably all thinking, 'Wait, Snow, why would you want Regina to date your daughter?' Honestly, I just want Emma to be happy. And I have to agree with Red, their chemistry is off the charts.

**David/James/Prince Charming: **And I just want to say—

**Belle: **Hold on. What name do you want? You have three, which one do you want me to record?

**David/James/Prince Charming: **Oh…James is fine.

**James: **I want to say that Emma sees Regina as a new person, not as the Evil Queen, which none of us are able to do yet. I am proud to say that I ship the Queen with good.

**Granny: **You're all kind of missing the point here, people. This support group is to help us overcome—

**Dr. Whale: ***comes swaggering in, apparently half-tipsy* Hullo, everyone. Sorry I'm late. I just-*hiccup* got back from a date with Emma—

**James: ***jumps up angrily* WHAT?

**Dr. Whale: **And she didn't even let me cop a feel. So I'm on board this ship, because any woman who says no to this- *gestures to his body* must be a lesbian.

**Leroy: ***snorts*

**Granny: ***clears her throat again and stands up, trying to regain control of the situation* Ruby, do you want to go?

**Ruby: ***nods and gets up, dressed in miniskirt and black tank top, looking especially gorgeous smiling her beautiful, breathtaking winning smile* I ship them because of Henry. He needs his two moms. I think the only way to overcome this addiction of mine is to make Regina and Emma realize that they are perfect for each other.

**Dr. Whale: **I'm with you, sister. *hiccups and tries to put his arm around Ruby*

**Granny: **No, that's not a good idea—

**Mary Margaret: **And why not? I am sick of seeing Emma mope around the house. She needs to get out more.

**James: **Can we focus on the fact that this drunk bastard *jabs his thumb at Whale* just went on a date with Emma? How the hell did she agree to that?

**Dr. Whale: **What can I say? Bitches can't resist me.

**Mary Margaret: **She turned you down, dumbass.

**Archie: **Can I interject here?

**Granny: **Please.

**Archie: **I think that the best way for all of us to deal with this addiction is to first remove the temptation. We should lean on each other for support, instead of spending hours on tumblr. We can overcome this, if we accept the reality that Emma and Regina will never be together.

**Ruby: ***growls, making it sound incredibly sexy* I refuse to accept that. Why should we just give up hope? I say, fight until the last dwarf!

**Leroy:** Hey!

**Ruby: **Sorry, I've seen _The Hobbit _a few too many times, I guess. *shrugs and looks at Belle, who swoons.

**Mary Margaret: **So we're doing this?

**Granny: ***throws her hands up in desperation* Doing what? Are we just going to put them in a room together and force them to make out?

**James: ***cringes*I did not need that mental picture.

**Leroy: **Then why are you even shipping them?

**James: **Because I want Emma to be happy, all right?

**Belle: **Perhaps we could approach this more subtly. Say, drop hints and…maybe get Henry on our side.

**Dr. Whale:** Good idea.

**Archie: **So no one is going to listen to my idea?

**James: **Nope.

**Mary Margaret: **Doesn't look like it. So, we should come up with a more concrete plan.

**Granny: **This is ten million levels of wrong.

**Ruby: **Think about Henry, Granny. He needs his two mommies to be together.

**Granny: ***rolls eyes* Fine. Let's do this.

**Mary Margaret: **Okay, since there's eight of us, we'll split up into two groups of four. James, Whale and Leroy, you can be with me, and we'll talk to Emma. Belle, Ruby, Granny and Archie, you guys talk to Regina.

**Granny: **Easier said than done. She is more prickly than a cactus' and porcupines' baby.

**Archie: **Is everyone forgetting that I am her therapist? It would be unethical for me to talk to her about her sex life, or to try to influence her.

**Ruby: ***rolls eyes*

**Granny: ***rolls eyes*

**James: ***rolls eyes*

**Dr. Whale: **Okay I'm just going to say what we're all thinking: Archie, you are a buzz kill. Are you on board our ship or not? *raises his voice and grabs Archie by the collar, hiccupping in his face*

**Archie: ***sighs* Fine. Perhaps I'll mention Emma in Regina's session, once or twice.

**Granny: **This meeting is adjourned. We will meet same time, same place next week. Long live the Swan Queen!

**Everyone: **Hear hear!


	2. Chapter 2

**Monday –Ruby and Belle**

Belle and Ruby walked up to Regina's mansion, gasping at how huge it was. It loomed over them, and the effect was rather intimidating. Just like Regina.

"You ready for this?" Ruby looked at her friend.

"Not at all." Belle knocked on the door, and so did Ruby.

Regina opened the door and grimaced when she saw the werewolf and Rumpelstiltskin's love interest standing there.

"Whatever you're selling, I'm not interested." She moved to close the door, but Ruby caught it with her foot.

"Actually, Regina, we came to ask if you could make some cookies for Henry's school bake sale that's coming up. I know it'd mean a lot to him if you delivered them…"

Regina brightened. "Of course. I'll make two dozen."

"And we were wondering if you'd let Emma help?" Belle asked, tentatively. She was just waiting to be turned into a toad or a rat or something small and helpless like that. Not that she'd feel any less helpless than she did in that moment.

Regina laughed. "I would never let Miss Swan anywhere near my kitchen. She'd probably blow up my whole house."

SLAM.

Ruby stepped back. "Well, fuck you very much," she muttered to the closed door.

**Tuesday—Snow and Charming**

Snow walked around the counter in her apartment, locking eyes with Charming, motioning to their daughter. Emma was sitting there, nursing a beer, even though it was only 4 in the afternoon.

"Um, Emma…" James began. "How are things?"

Emma pulled her lips off of the bottle, making a small popping noise. "Fine. Why?"

"We were just wondering if you'd want to do something with us on Saturday, like a picnic or something?" James smiled.

"Nope, sorry, I have plans….with Ruby."

"Oh?" Snow raised an eyebrow. "What do you guys have planned? Maybe we could join you-"

Emma immediately got defensive and pushed herself off of the stool. "None of your business. Just because you suddenly discovered you're my mom doesn't mean you have to smother me." Emma practically stomped up the stairs.

**Wednesday—Archie**

Archie looked at the clock on the wall in his office. It was 4:00 on the dot. Regina should be there any second. And sure enough, there was a light knock on his door, and Regina swept in.

"Hello, Dr. Hopper."

"Hi Regina. How are you?"

"Fine, I suppose. I've been busy making cookies for Henry's bake sale, but I've decided to let Miss Swan help me with 6 of them, just to see how she does. That way, if they're terrible, I can just throw them out."

Archie did a mental back flip. "Wow, that's great, Regina. You've told me in here that you and Emma don't really have a good relationship, so can I ask what prompted this decision?"

Regina shrugged. "Honestly, I don't know. It seems that some of Emma's friends want her to be around me, for some unknown reason."

Archie nodded. It was hard to be Regina's therapist, especially in moments like this, when he wanted to scream at her that Emma was her true love, and start flailing. But he placed his hands on his lap, determined to stay calm.

"That's great, Regina. I hope you two have fun."

Regina rolled her eyes.

**Thursday—Granny**

Granny busied herself with the dishes, yelling to Ruby, who was in the back. She'd heard about Ruby's and Belle's excursion to the mayoral mansion, but she hoped to delve more into it at the support group on Saturday night. Right now she had work to do. And…the evil queen herself just walked into her diner.

Granny walked out, pen and pad in hand. "Hi, Regina, what can I get you?"

"An iced tea and a plate of spaghetti, with Alfredo sauce."

"Okay, that'll be ready in about 20 minutes." Granny stuck the piece of paper on the wall so the cooks could see it. "So, how have you been?"

"Good, I suppose. I'm excited to see Henry at his bake sale next week. What day was it again? Do you know?"

Granny shrugged. "You'd have to ask Ruby. Is…anyone helping you with it? I could come if you need—"

"No, thank you, Mrs. Lucas, I can very well bake 24 cookies by myself."

"I know, I was just trying to be nice. God."

**Friday—Leroy **

Leroy was the hardest worker out of all of his brothers. He could stay in the mines for days at a time, chipping away at the diamonds without eating or sleeping. But he knew that he'd have to talk to Emma sooner or later…he just wasn't sure how to bring up Regina without her getting suspicious. So he decided to take the indirect approach. He got really drunk on Thursday night, causing a lot of trouble, most of which he didn't remember. Emma locked him up for the night.

So the sore back and the splitting headache he had right now were the price he'd pay for being able to talk to Emma. The sherriff was currently sitting at her desk, feet propped up, playing paper-trashcan basketball.

"Uh, Emma, don't you think the mayor would be pissed that you're not doing your job?" He asked through the bars of the cell.

"I don't care. She doesn't scare me. Besides, I'm not even sure she's acting as mayor anymore. Good thing, too. She made my life a living hell."

"Right, okay."

Emma whirled around. "Are you still drunk? Regina is a total bitch."

"Who is the other mother of your child."

"What is your point?"

"That you have to suck it up and learn to live with her. If we all have to, Emma, then so do you." Leroy imparted this grain of wisdom, then leaned back down and was snoring within a matter of seconds.

**Saturday—Dr. Whale**

Emma felt her phone buzzing in her pocket, and answered it, wiping off her flour-covered hands on her jeans.

"Hello?"

"Emma, hey, it's—uh, Dr. Whale. I hope I didn't offend you when I tried to touch your boobs on our date. If I did I'm sorry_."_

Emma stifled a laugh. "It's fine. I know you were pretty hammered. Where did you go afterwards, anyway? I couldn't find you."

"It's….not important. I just wanted to make sure that we're cool. And that we're still friends."

"Of course. I'm sorry, I have to go, I'm baking some cookies." Emma beamed at the brunette in the kitchen, who was decked out in a purple flowery apron. Emma refused to wear one, and so was pretty much covered in flour and sugar.

"Sure. See you later Emma." Whale hung up.

"Who was that?" Regina asked.

"Oh, Dr. Whale. He and I went on a date, and he tried to cop a feel."

Regina felt her cheeks get warm. "Oh. Did—do…I mean do you like him?"

Emma looked at Regina pointedly. "No, he knows I'm not interested in him like that. If I was interested in anyone, trust me, they'd know it." Emma looked at Regina with a weird gleam in her eye, and Regina fairly jumped when the oven beeped, signaling that the cookies were done.

Regina pulled the tray out and let it cool for a while.

"Let's see how they taste," she said, picking up one gooey cookie and sampling it. The chocolate dripped off of her lips, onto her chin, and Emma was having a difficult time not staring at her. Her breath was caught in her throat, and all she could do was stay frozen, looking at the chocolate on Regina's lips.

_Oh how I wish I could be that chocolate—_

Regina moaned. Actually moaned, in total pleasure. Emma looked at her, lust suddenly flaring inside of her.

"These are amazing. Do you want one, Miss Swan?"

"Yes." Emma answered quickly. She bit into one of her cookies, concentrating on chewing. "These are good." Emma conceded. She was proud of herself.

**SQSA MEETING—1-19-2013**

**Granny: **Okay, it's been one week since we last met. I guess the first order of business is to see if anyone made progress?

**Mary Margaret: **To be honest, I had no idea Emma was such a stubborn person. It's like I can't get through to her at all.

**Granny: **Welcome to motherhood. What exactly happened, Snow?

**Mary Margaret: **Well, James tried to talk to her first—

**Dr. Whale: ***cringes* That was your first mistake.

**Mary Margaret: ***glares at Whale, and continues* Anyway, James tried to talk to Emma, asking how she was doing, and if she had any plans this Saturday, and she said she had plans with Ruby.

**Ruby: **What? I don't remember making plans with her.

**James: **Exactly.

**Mary Margaret: **So then I started to ask where you guys were planning to go, and she got all defensive, like a teenager.

**Leroy: **She's so went to see Regina. I just know it.

**Belle: **No. We can't jump to conclusions like this. She was probably planning to get her legs-or other body parts- waxed and doesn't want anyone to know.

**Ruby: **No, Emma doesn't do that.

**Leroy**: …..

**James: **….

**Mary Margaret**: ….

**Granny: ….**

**Dr. Whale: …**

**Archie: ….**

**Belle: **How do you know that?

**Ruby: ***blushes* We're getting off topic. We need to figure out how to break through Regina's ice queen façade. Which, if I may say, is super difficult. Belle and I went over to her house, on the pretense of asking her to cook something for Henry's school's bake sale. She said she'd bake 2 dozen cookies, but then we asked if she could help Emma bake something.

**Belle: **And then she snorted at us, like we both belonged in an asylum—not just me. See, I can be humorous. Anyhow, she basically said she doesn't want Emma anywhere near her kitchen, because she'd probably cause an explosion.

**Dr. Whale: **I bet if Emma got near her _basement_, she'd cause quite the explosion. *smirks*

**Leroy:** Damn it I was just about to say that!

**James: **Can you two pervs zip your lips? That's my daughter you're talking about.

**Belle:** Yes, please stop being so gross. I'd rather not puke all over my lap top.

**Granny: **Maybe this meeting will go smoother if we let people talk one at a time. Who would like to go first?

**Archie: ***raises his hand and stands up* I guess I'd like to say, this group has really helped me open my eyes. I mean, I know at first this was supposed to be helping me get over my Swan Queen addiction, but I think us trying to get them together is a good idea.

**Mary Margaret: **So did Regina talk about Emma?

**Archie: **I can't say. Therapist-client-confidentiality.

**A voice-:**What are you guys doing here?

**Mary Margaret: **_Shit. _Hi Henry!

**Henry: ***walks slowly into the gym, holding a basketball* Hi. I'm just here to practice dribbling—what are you guys doing?

**Granny: **We're just talking about…recipes. We're trying to figure out the best recipe for…um..

**Leroy: **Lasagna.

**Ruby: **Right, lasagna. Love that stuff.

**Henry: ***narrows his eyes and looks at everyone suspiciously* Why is Belle typing then?

**Mary Margaret: **Who knows? You know what she's like. Total nerd.

**Belle: **You know I'd flip you off if Henry wasn't here, right?

**Henry: **Okay. I'll just come back at another time. *turns to walk away*

**Archie: **Wait, Henry. Did Regina bake cookies for the bake sale?

**Henry: **Yeah, and Emma helped her today.

**Granny: ** *squeals like a banshee*

**James: ***drops his mouth open in shock*

**Henry: **Why are you guys acting so weird?

**Mary Margaret: **It's just nice to see them getting along. You know how much they fight…

**Henry: ***shrugs* Not so much anymore. I mean, most of the time they fight about what I eat, or if I get enough exercise, or if my friends at school are 'conducive to my well-being.'

**Ruby: ***cough* Can someone say 'lesbian divorce?'

**Henry: **What?

**Granny: ***nudges Ruby hard in the ribs* Nevermind, Henry. You should go, Emma's probably worried about you.

**Henry: **Yeah, ok. See you all later. *walks out of the gym*

**Dr. Whale: **That was a close one.

**Mary Margaret:** Hold up. Emma said she had plans with Ruby. Why did she lie to us about that?

**Ruby:** It's understandable. I mean would you want people knowing what you and James were doing 24/7? She needs some privacy, Snow.

**Belle: **I agree.

**Granny: **We need to get our shit together, people. This ship needs to sail. This town will run smoother if Regina would pull that stick out of her ass, and Emma could help her do it. *points to Leroy and Dr. Whale* I know you two are thinking of making a dirty comment…don't. I am being serious. Did either of you talk to Emma?

**Dr. Whale: **Yeah. I called to apologize for trying to feel her up.

**James: **Yeah, yeah. Did you talk to Emma about Regina?

**Dr. Whale: **What? Oh, no. No I didn't.

**Granny:** *picks up a gavel and pounds it on a chair* You are officially kicked out, you useless thing!

**Dr. Whale: **But I thought this was a support group!

**Granny: **OUT!

**Dr. Whale:** *hangs his head and walks out of the gym, muttering to himself*

**Ruby: **Calm down, Gran. This isn't an episode of Law and Order.

**Mary Margaret: **Who's gonna replace him though?

**Granny: **A puppet would do a better job than he did.

**Another voice—**Well, that's just what you'll get.

**Stranger****: **Hi, everyone! *smiles and sits down * I heard about this meeting from Leroy and thought I'd check it out. So…*he gets up* Hi, my name is August, and I'm a Swan Queen shipper!

**Everyone: **Hi, August!

**Granny: ***looks at her watch* Oh dear. The time. We need to go. I hope you come next time, August, we could really use your help! *pounds her gavel* Meeting adjourned!


	3. Chapter 3

**School Bake Sale—Tuesday **

August Booth walked over to Emma, who was manning the cupcakes booth. Her eyes lit up when she saw him, mostly in surprise.

"Hey, August… I haven't seen you in a while! Where have you been?"

"Well, after the curse broke, it took a while for my body to change back from wood. But I'm here now, good as new." August smiled and pulled Emma in for a hug, which ended awkwardly.

Henry walked up to them. "Hi, August, how are you?"

"Just fine, buddy. How have you been? And where's your mom?"

Henry frowned. "She's right in front of you."

"I meant Regina. Didn't she bake cookies for this?"

"Yeah…Henry where is she?" Emma looked around the school cafeteria, but couldn't see the sharp-eyed brunette anywhere.

"How should I know?"

Just then Regina walked into the cafeteria, cookies placed in a tupperware container. She glared daggers at Emma, as if it was her fault she was late. She placed the cookies on a table, then was immediately flanked by a bunch of kids lining up to buy the treats.

Regina normally disapproved of giving kids sugar in the middle of the day—it was bad for their digestion and made them cranky—but something about the way Henry smiled at her changed that—just for today, she would gladly sell her cookies. Well, her and Miss Swan's cookies.

Ruby walked up to Regina, smirking. "Hey, Regina. I'll take two cookies." Ruby held out 2 dollars.

Regina took them and gave her two cookies, her eyes trailing to the far side of the room, where Emma was happily chatting with August.

Ruby followed her gaze. "If you want, I can sell the cookies while you go talk to her."

Regina looked at Ruby like she had grown an extra head. "That's ridiculous, I don't need to talk to Miss Swan."

"Yeah, sure. Seems to me that you're jealous."

"You have a knack for saying the most off-putting things, Miss Lucas. I am not interested in Emma, August can have her for all I care."

Granny joined them as Regina was saying this. "Hey, Regina, how are things going?"

"Fine. Miss Lucas was just going."

Ruby walked away, nodding to August, who winked at her.

**Later that day**

August walked out of the gym. The black eye he was sporting hurt like a jackass. Regina really knew how to throw a punch. He had no idea when he kissed Emma, that Regina would react like that. Now there was no doubt in his mind that Regina liked Emma. How to get her to admit it, well, that would probably take centuries.

**Flashback-School bake sale—12:08 pm**

August caught Ruby's signal, and immediately upped his game. He knew he'd have to turn on the flirt now. It was all part of his plan.

He turned to Emma, flashing his best charming smile, which made the blonde tense up. She knew August had had a thing for her, well, she thought he did. And it seemed he was making it more clear now, as he placed his arm around her. Henry left, feeling pretty weirded out. He went to talk to Paige, Nicholas and Ava, who were jumping off the walls from the sugar they were consuming.

Emma frowned. "August, what are you doing? I have a problem with PDA in front of my kid."

"Come on, Emma. You have to know how I feel about you. I was thinking, now that I'm better, we could pick up where we left off."

"Um, I don't know—"

August was presumptuous, he knew. But it was time for one of these women to get their act together. He leaned in and kissed the blonde, cutting her off.

He heard the clomp clomp of Regina's heels, instead of the delicate click clack that heels are supposed to make. He turned and barely had time to put on an innocent smile before Regina cocked back her arm and connected her fist to his right eye. He felt a blinding pain, and closed his eye, stepping back and covering it with his hand.

"Jesus Christ, Regina!" August moaned.

"Regina, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Emma turned to the brunette, angry as hell, and, to her utter terror, a little turned on.

"I _refuse_ to turn my son's school's bake sale into a taudry, PDA filled orgie. Understood?" Regina glared at the two of them like they had just had sex right against the table. "There are children here, have some respect."

Henry ran over to them, Paige close behind, though she was a little cautious, considering her friend's mom had just punched a guy.

"Mom, what did you do?"

"August was being inappropriate."

"You didn't have to punch him!" Henry looked at August, who was still holding his hand to his eye.

"Maybe we should put some ice on that…" Emma trailed off. She glared at Regina, who was standing there like the thing she just did was completely justified. Regina left before Emma had a chance to talk to her about it.

**That evening—7:30 pm**

Emma sat with James, Mary Margaret and Henry to have dinner. She was glad that something in her life had some semblance of normal. She could have dinner with her family, her family being Snow White and Prince Charming. So maybe normality was too much to ask for.

"So, how was the bake sale?" Mary Margaret asked, heaping her fork with spaghetti.

"I don't really want to talk about it." Emma said.

"It was kind of embarrassing." Henry supplied.

"Oh, how?" Sometimes Mary Margaret didn't know when to stop.

"Regina punched August."

"Why?"

"For kissing Emma. Which was kind of gross, but still, I think mom overreacted."

"Maybe a little," Emma said sarcastically.

**Friday evening**

Emma took a breath, pounding on the door. "Regina! If you don't open the door, so help me I'll go all A team on it and blow it to shit with machine guns."

Regina flung the door open, to Emma's amusement. She opened her mouth to spew out ten million different kinds of cusswords, but her vocal chords failed her when she saw what Regina was wearing.

She had on a purple short sleeved shirt, with a black skirt. Her hair had its usual perfect appearance, and she was wearing heels, even though she was home alone. Emma wondered what this woman did to relax, if she was even capable of that.

"Why are you here, Miss Swan?"

Emma met Regina's eyes. "Why am I here? I think you know, Regina. Henry's bake sale was a disaster because of what you did. The kids were so scared, some of them puked."

"That probably had more to do with what they were eating."

Emma rolled her eyes. "Look, I don't know what your problem with August is, but just so we're clear, it's not okay for you to punch whoever tries to kiss me."

"It had nothing to do with you, Miss Swan. I was simply concerned for Henry—

"Save it already." Emma stomped her foot on the porch. "I know it's more complicated then that. You just hate seeing anyone happy when you're so miserable."

Regina laughed sardonically. "I honestly couldn't care less." Regina stepped out onto the porch, closing her door behind her. It was cold, but she was past taking notice. "If you want to strut around town like a common slut, then by all means, do. But don't expect me to stand by and let Henry see that."

Emma was so close to exploding. "You are such a—"

"A what?"

"A bitch. And a hypocrite. You had sex with Graham, while Henry was in the same house." Emma stepped closer to Regina, challenging her.

"You need to go, Miss Swan. Before I do something to your pretty face that I'll regret."

"Or maybe I'll hit first."

Regina growled. "You are one insufferable—"

Emma couldn't take any more of this concussion-inducing back and forth. She was tired of never knowing quite where she stood with Regina. Were they enemies, pure and simple? Or…friends, whenever Henry was concerned? And if they were just friends-not even that, really, then how come Emma could see a hint of jealousy playing on Regina's features? Why could Emma never quite figure this woman out?

Emma took a leap of faith—or stupidity. She closed her eyes, stepping close to Regina, so their bodies were flush against each other. Regina stopped her rant on what an insufferable woman Emma was, and stepped back until her spine hit one of the wooden pillars. She just waited for Emma to get close, feeling her breath on her skin. She almost shivered. She grabbed the woman's jacket, to push her away, but Emma clutched onto the pillar, above Regina's head, so the brunette was totally trapped.

"Now, are you going to listen to me?" Emma almost whispered, her lips scant inches from Regina's. "I don't like being threatened, Regina. You are not going to scare me off, because I think I know just why you punched August today."

"Oh? Then enlighten me, by all means."

Emma smirked, leaning so close to Regina. This was pure torture, Regina thought.

Maddeningly, Emma didn't say anything. She looked at Regina, her hazel eyes peering into Regina's soul, like she knew all of her secrets. She closed her eyes, preparing herself to get punched. She gently placed her lips on Regina's, parting her lips to taste her.

Regina didn't step back, considering she couldn't. She seemed to have a fight with herself, debating whether to push Emma away or clutch onto her with all of her might. She did a mix of both. Emma felt Regina grab her red jacket, at first pushing, then pulling her in. Regina opened her mouth, letting their tongues mesh together.

Emma was the one who pulled away. "Oh shit. I uh…I have to go," Emma breathed, leaving Regina in her sexually frustrated state.

Emma practically galloped down the walk, running to her car. This had been such a bad idea. Emma drove away, not noticing a certain brunette librarian standing on the sidewalk, still rubbing her eyes as if she was convincing herself of what she'd just seen. When Belle had seen Emma kiss Regina, she had dropped her lap top in shock.

This was something she'd be sure to share in the support group tomorrow.

**I hope this chapter was as entertaining as the last two! Please review and tell me what you think!**


	4. Chapter 4

**SQSA MEETING—1-26-2013**

**Granny: **Hey everyone! I hope you're all doing well! I think this meeting will be especially insightful, because we have a new addition to our team. August, we are so glad to have you. *beams at him*

**August**: Thank you Granny. I am glad to be here-

**Leroy:** Dude, what happened to your face?

**Ruby: **Regina punched him, because he kissed Emma.

**Leroy: **Oh. How did Regina justify that?

**August:** She said she didn't want Henry to see any PDA, and that it was inappropriate behavior.

**Mary Margaret: **Well, she kind of has a point. Why did you kiss my daughter anyway?

**August: **To see how Regina would react. DUH.

**James: **Oh…so you basically sacrificed yourself for our cause? You are one brave man. And just out of curiosity, where have you been?

**August: **Um, well, I—my body took a while to turn back to, you know, skin. Especially one part.

**Leroy: ***snorts* He means he had a wooden boner that wouldn't go down.

**August: ***glares at Leroy* Thanks, man. You're a real good friend. I told you that in confidence, damn it!

**Belle: **GUYS GUYS GUYS! I have some news...I was walking home from the library last night, and I walked past the Queen's house. Emma was standing on her porch. I heard them fighting, then I saw—I SAW EMMA KISS HER!

**James: **SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!

**Ruby:** I swear to God, Belle, if you are screwing with us…

**Belle: **I'm not, I swear on my mother's grave.

**Granny: **Okay, give me a second to stop hyperventilating because of this new development. Well, this certainly changes things. I mean, we still have our work cut out for us, but this will give us somewhere to start from.

**Mary Margaret: ** If I know Emma, she probably freaked out and ran away. She's a total commitment phobe.

**Leroy: **So what are we supposed to do with this?

**Belle: **Um, as a side note, I think we have a problem. I lost my flashdrive…I think it disconnected from my lap top when I dropped it last night outside of Regina's house. If I don't get it—

**Ruby: **Relax, Belle, you can go look for it tomorrow. For now can we just focus on the fact that EMMA KISSED REGINA?

**August: ***smiles* I knew I shipped them for a reason.

**Granny: **Speaking of that, we haven't got around to you yet, August. Would you mind telling the group when you started shipping Emma and Regina?

**August: **Sure. *gets up* I guess it started when I was in the diner with Emma one day, and Regina was sitting by the window. I walked over to Emma, and started talking to her, but she totally ignored me, and just kept staring at Regina. I even made up some stupid story about a bullfighter I met in Pamplona, but she just kept looking at Regina like she wanted to eat her whole. That was the moment my eyes opened. I ship them so hard my heart hurts. *eyes start to tear up* I'm sorry, this is just so hard for me.

**Granny: ***clutches at her heart* That was beautiful.

**Leroy: **Yeah, real emotional stuff. Honestly, the only reason I ship them is because I want to know how Regina is in bed. I figure Emma could give me some juicy details.

**Mary Margaret: **Do you want me to neuter you? Because I will.

**Granny: **Leroy, I'll kick you out like I did Whale if you make another comment like that.

**Leroy: **Fine, I'm sorry, I was just trying to be honest. Isn't that what support groups are for?

**Ruby: **This isn't just a support group, it's a club working to get Emma and Regina together. Now, we really need to formulate a plan of attack.

**James: **You make it sound like we're going to war.

**Mary Margaret: **We kind of are. It's just this time, we're not fighting against Regina, but for her.

**August: **Let's do this.

**Leroy: **Wait, guys, I want to show you something. *clears throat* Ah piddy da foo that messes with swan queen! Ah doo! Ah doo!

**Belle: **What was that? Because what I just typed makes absolutely no sense.

**Leroy: **That was my Mr. T impression.

**James: **Damn, that was good.

**Ruby: **Yeah, that really was…now do the terminator!

**Granny: ***grumbles* Why the hell did I even bother starting this group? CAN'T YOU PEOPLE FOCUS FOR TWO SECONDS?

**August: **Yeah, come on, everyone. I didn't get this shiner so we could sit here and do nothing. We need a plan. Maybe…maybe we could talk to Henry?

**Granny: **I don't want to scar the kid for life. We'd have to be subtle about it.

**Ruby: **I can talk to him. I think he kind of has a crush on me. Which would be adorable, if Henry was a dog person.

**Sunday—Belle **

Belle parked her car quite a ways from Regina's house—just to be safe. She tried to be casual, and not draw attention to herself, as she bent down by Regina's gate and searched the bushes, looking for her flash drive. She'd have to find it…the last two meetings of SQSA were saved on there, and she didn't want anyone else to find it—especially Regina. That would be horrible. She looked for a good fifteen minutes, practically ripping the leaves apart. She didn't notice a shadow come over her, and she shot up like a bullet when she heard a cold voice.

"Hello, Belle. Mind telling me why you're digging through my hedges?" Regina leaned on the gate, looking every bit in control. It made Belle almost wet herself.

"Um…I—I was j-just admiring the beautiful plants…" Belle breathed. "I'll be going now."

"I think that would be best." Regina smirked and strutted back down the walk.

Belle slunk away, knowing that she was so screwed. Her flash drive was probably sucked into a magical vortex, never to be found again. She just hoped Regina didn't have it.

**Monday—August**

August walked over to where Emma was sitting, knowing his apology would probably be flung back in his face. She was bent over the desk, actually doing paperwork. He smirked. Something had to be on Emma's mind for her to be doing something as mind-numbing as that.

When she noticed him, she rolled her eyes. "Here to make out with me again?" She bit out the words.

August slumped his shoulders. "I deserved that. I actually came to apologize. I shouldn't have kissed you, I was out of line. And I know it's not me you're into."

"You're damn right you—wait, what?" Emma, in true Emma fashion, frowned, like she had no idea what August was getting at. He liked Emma, as a friend, but in all honesty, sometimes she was a little slow on the uptake.

"No, hey, it's cool. I think it's hot that you swing both ways."

"Can you tell me what the hell you're talking about?"

August just smirked and leaned close to her. "I think you already know. Just give it some thought." He walked out of the office, a grumbling Emma in his wake.

**Wednesday—Ruby **

Ruby pulled on her apron, preparing for the afternoon rush…usually at around 3, the school kids would come in troves to the diner, most of them wanting ice cream. Henry was no exception. Ruby watched as he pushed the door to the diner open, and smiled when he caught her eye.

"Hey, Henry, how was school?"

Henry shrugged. "It was okay. Mary Margaret keeps trying to teach us things not in the lesson plan though. Like how to shoot and skin a deer, or she shows us maps of the Enchanted Forest, which only makes all the kids homesick."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, you are home. Storybrooke is your home, and we're all here for you."

"Yeah, I guess I just wish I hadn't missed out."

"Oh, trust me, you didn't. Our world doesn't have lap tops, toilets or cell phones. Not to mention game boys. Are you sure you want to live in a world like that?"

Henry shook his head.

Ruby laughed. "I thought so. Henry, you have it good here. You have two moms who love you, and would do anything for you."

"I just wish I knew why they fought so much."

"Oh, I have a few thoughts." Ruby smirked, almost evilly. "Listen, Snow and Charming are going to a meeting next Saturday. Maybe if you asked, they could bring you too."

Henry looked confused. "But why—"

"Sorry, that's all I can say. See you later, Henry!" Ruby disappeared in the back of the diner and hoped that she sparked the kid's curiosity just enough.

**Thursday—Regina and Emma**

Regina looked at her watch. Miss Swan should be here by now. She fingered the little device in her left hand, knowing she couldn't lose it. She had found it in the hedges in her front yard, and consequently, some of the material on it was quite appalling. Regina didn't really want to talk to the blonde, 6 days after said woman practically frenched her on her porch and then ran away—but this whole ordeal involved her. So she had left a message at the Sherriff's office, telling her to meet her at Barrow's park, which was where Henry's castle used to stand.

Emma cleared her throat, alerting Regina to her presence. Regina turned and assessed the blonde's appearance. Her clothes were disheveled, her hair frumped. Clearly she hadn't been sleeping. _Serves her right._ She hated what Emma had to her. She'd kissed her, making her let down her defenses, for a brief moment, then ran away, like a scared little girl. She was so frustrating!

"Why did you want to meet?" Emma kept her distance, like she was afraid if she got too close, she would catch a disease or something.

Regina held up the device. "I think there is something on this device that would interest you, Miss Swan." Regina pulled a lap top out of the bag she had slung over her shoulder, and connected the flash drive to it. She opened the document labeled _SQSA MEETING # 1_ and let Emma read it.

The blonde's face went from shocked to scandalized. "What the fuck? People want us to be…and my parents are in on it? What?

"I believe you can read silently, Miss Swan. Yes, apparently there are people in this town who believe we should be romantically involved."

"This is crazy!" Emma stepped away from Regina and started pacing like a maniac.

"Trust me, I know. The idea of us together is absurd."

"Totally!"

" Completely unfathomable."

"I mean, I hate you."

"I hate you too."

"Right."

Both women stopped and looked at each other for a moment, as if they knew everything they had just said was a crock of shit. They could tell, even though the words failed to come. They were both so good at keeping up a charade, when in reality, so many people put pressure on them to be who they were. Regina was expected to be an Evil Queen, a terrorist of hearts, a terrible person. Emma, in contrast, was the hero, the one who would destroy evil and blah blah blah. It didn't seem to occur to people who wrote these fairytales that the people in these stories were more complex, more human than they gave them credit for. And if Emma was the savior, where the fuck were the happy endings Henry talked so much about?

Emma broke the silence. "So what do we do about this?"

"I suppose we should find out where they're meeting and ask them who the hell they think they are, prying into our private lives like this. From the looks of it, this 'support group' was Mrs. Lucas' idea. I say we go over to the diner and make her talk."

Emma actually smiled. "I know you think the direct approach is best, but why don't we ask Henry? I'm sure he's got some clue. It looks like one of this 'group's' strategies was to get him on their side."

"Good idea." Regina never thought she'd give a compliment to the woman standing before her, but there it was. The awkwardness became unbearable, and Emma pulled at her jacket, just so she had something to do with her hands.

"Allright…I guess I'll talk to Henry, and call you if he tells me anything." Emma started walking back to the parking lot.

"Wait, Miss Swan…" Regina called. "Could I come with you?"

**Friday—Henry**

Henry twitched like mad. He was so nervous. He had no idea why, but he felt like he was being questioned like Snow White had been when his mom framed her for Katherine's murder—which hadn't turned out to be a murder at all. Just like Archie. Talk about confusing.

Emma leaned down to Henry's eye level. They were in Snow's apartment, but Charming and Snow were nowhere to be found. Emma took that opportunity to invite Regina over, and the former queen was standing there, patting Henry's shoulder gently, which only added to his nerves.

"Am I in trouble?" Henry bit his nails.

Regina smiled. "No, sweetie, we just wanted to ask you a few questions."

Emma sat on the stool to his right. "Have you noticed anyone acting weird lately? Like, I don't know, Ruby or Mary Margaret?"

Henry scrunched up his face in thought. "Well…on Wednesday, Ruby wanted me to come to this meeting on Saturday…and come to think of it, a couple weeks ago, I went to the gym and found a lot of people there, just sitting talking about recipes."

Emma nodded. "Recipes, huh?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"We'd like to go to the meeting too, if that's okay." Regina spoke softly, and to her surprise, Henry turned to her and smiled.

"That'd be cool! But if the meeting is boring, I'll probably leave early."

Regina wrapped her arm around Henry. "Trust me, dear, if I have anything to say about it, the last thing this meeting will be is boring."

Emma watched Regina leave, a hole growing bigger and bigger in the pit of her stomach. She was 99 percent sure that Regina would end up killing all of these 'Swan Queen shippers.'


	5. Chapter 5

Henry was tapping his foot in impatience, making it known to his grandparents that he just wanted to go to the meeting already. He shared a secret smile with Emma, who had told him it would be best to keep her coming a secret. That's why Henry, Mary Margaret and James would go first, and Emma and Regina would follow in Regina's car.

He still had no idea what the meeting was about, but for some reason, he was really excited about it. Ruby had been really mysterious with him, so he knew it must be important, at least important enough that people had weekly meetings about it.

"Are you guys ready yet?" Henry asked, looking at Snow White buttoning up her beige pea coat.

"Yes, Henry. Don't wait up for us, Emma, we'll see you later."

And then they were gone. Emma wasted no time. She called Regina.

"They're leaving, Miss Swan, do hurry and get down here," Regina's bit through the phone, not bothering with a hello.

"Yes, mother," Emma growled and hung up, realizing the joke is pretty much in poor taste, given how fucked up her family tree is.

**SQSA MEETING—2-2-2013**

**Granny: **Hello, everyone! This is our fourth meeting, and I think we are making great leaps in accomplishing our goal. And we also have a guest! Henry, how are you?

**Henry: **I'm good, Granny, thanks. I still don't know what this meeting is about though.

**Granny: ***frowns at Snow and Charming* You didn't tell him?

**Mary Margaret: **We figured if we did, he wouldn't be able to keep it a secret from Emma or Regina.

**Henry: ***blushes and fidgets a little*Um...actually...

**August: ** Henry, this is a group of people that want your two moms to be together...romantically...I know it might seem kind of weird, thinking of your moms like that, but-

**Henry: **A little bit. I really haven't thought about it. Honestly, if you guys are trying to get them together, all I have to say is, good luck with that.

**Ruby: **Thanks. We'll need it.

**A voice: **Damn right you will.

***Emma and Regina both storm into the gym, scaring the shit out of everyone, except for Ruby, who for some reason is totally composed***

**Regina: **What is the meaning of this?

**James: **N-nothing, we're just discussing...recipes. And how did you even know we were here?

**Emma: **Henry told us.

***everyone glares at Henry***

**Henry: **No one told me it was a secret!

**Ruby: **Can everyone just calm the f-I mean calm down so we can talk about this like mature adults?

**Regina: **Okay, Miss Lucas. *sits down on a chair in the circle next to Archie* I'm sorry that all of you feel the need to build a support group around me and Miss Swan, who are NOT dating, and never will. I find it sad that none of you have enough of a life of your own.

**Archie: **There's no need to be hostile, Regina. We just want you to be happy.

**Emma: ***scoffs* Please. Like I could make her happy. I snore, I can't cook, and I watch football. We're total opposites.

**Archie: **I thought you might say that. Which is why I prepared a power point presentation listing all the reasons why I think you two are meant to be.

**Ruby:**...

**Granny:**...

**James:**...

**Mary Margaret:...**

**Leroy:**...

**Henry:**...

**Emma:**...

**Regina: **You're not my therapist anymore.

**Leroy: **So that's what you were doing last week. I wondered why you weren't here.

**Archie: **Please direct your attention to the far wall. *clicks on his lap top, which is connected to a projector* Now, this is the moment at the mines, when you were asking Emma to bring Henry back to you, Regina. Notice how you step in so close to her, that you look like you're going to plant one on her right there.

**Henry: **I am kind of uncomfortable right now.

**Emma: **Please, that...doesn't prove anything.

**Archie: **This next slide is a picture taken by the newspaper, the night of the fire. Emma saved your life, Regina.

**Ruby: **And a gazillion other times.

**Regina: **What point are you trying to make? Besides the fact that you are all sad, delusional idiots, who take delight in creating drama when there is none?

**Belle: **You kissed her. I saw it with my own eyes.

**Ruby: **Yeah, suck on that, Regina. Way to go, Belle! *beams at her*

**Emma: **You know what? I need to go.

**Archie: **Is there something you'd like to share with the group, Emma?

**Emma: **Not really-

**Regina: **No, why don't you stay, Miss Swan, and tell them all how you kissed me and then practically sprinted in the opposite direction?

**Mary Margaret: **I totally called that one.

**Regina: ***turns to Snow and James* Why are you two even here? I hardly think you want me to be with Emma...I assumed that you don't really want me in your family.

**Mary Margaret: **We were family...once. I wouldn't mind being that again. But this time I'd be your mother in law. *smirks evilly*

**James: **Woah, you are thinking way too far ahead.

**Henry: **I am having a hard time keeping up. Did you two really kiss?

**Emma and Regina: ***nod slowly*

**Henry: **Gross. I'm going over to dribble, come get me when this is over. *walks over to other side of gym*

**Regina: **I'm going to kill you all.

**Leroy: **Go ahead and try.

**Emma: **Um, do you know who you're talking to, Leroy?

**August:***gets up, standing next to Regina and Emma* Look, you two, we're here because of you. You guys fight like a married couple, and don't get me started on the way that you look at each other. Can you really blame us for thinking there's something there? Not to mention that you sucker-punched me when I kissed Emma. *glares at Regina*

**Emma: **Look, I get that you guys think that. But really, you're wrong.

**Regina:** She's right. So you can all leave. And I'd appreciate if you would stop getting together to discuss our lives. I feel like I have no privacy.

**Belle: **Says the woman who took my flash drive.

**Regina: ***glares at Belle and clenches her fists*

**Granny: ***stands up quickly*Okay, I think it's time we wrap it up. We won't have any more meetings like this. We're sorry. I guess we were all just kidding ourselves.

All of the members of the group walk slowly out of the gym, including Snow and Charming. That left just Regina, Emma and Henry together. Henry was still focusing on dribbling, biting his lip in concentration. His hand-eye coordination was getting better, and he hoped to try out for the basketball team next year.

Emma scuffled her feet awkwardly, wanting to just get the kid and go, to get the hell out of whatever conversation she was about to have with the woman who she kissed a little over a week ago.

"That was…weird, right?" Emma asked, hoping that Regina could just agree, so they wouldn't have to talk about what happened between them.

But that was too much to ask for. "Why did you kiss me, Miss Swan?"

Emma snapped her head back, rubbing her neck. "To shut you up. You are one annoying bi—person when you start in on one of your rants. I just…needed to feel like I had some control."

"And now neither of us have any control. You had to go and _assault _me—"

"Woah—it was just a kiss—"

"And then you left. No explanation, just a stupid apology. What am I supposed to think?"

Emma steps back, exasperated. "This…this is too complicated. We hate each other—that has always been the truth, okay? So whatever is between us is just base hormones, it doesn't mean anything."

Regina pursed her lips together and nodded. "If you say so. I should probably be going. Good evening." The way she said the last two words sounded like she didn't care at all what kind of an evening Emma had.

Emma sighed, watching her leave, surprised when Henry waved at her. At least he was acknowledging her existence, even if their relationship was hardly ideal. That was another reason why being with Regina would be hard. No, there was absolutely no way her and Regina would ever work. She had written down a list one night, just to convince herself. This was the list she came up with:

Regina is a control freak.

She hates me—and I hate her.

We would be constantly fighting over Henry

She and I are so different.

She is too full of herself. So damn arrogant

She'd be too hard to please… though I wouldn't mind trying.

And even with all of these reasons, Emma still felt an overwhelming pull to the brunette, like she was one of those super-sized U shaped magnets, and Emma was a helpless paper clip. The idea that the people in the town—her parents included—picked up on it was not so surprising; she supposed the attraction wasn't as subtle as she thought it was. And trust it to Belle to be walking around late at night, so she can spot them kissing. Weirdo.

Emma pulled her coat on and walked out into the cold air, with Henry by her side. He was pretty quiet, probably still trying to process the fact that his two moms had kissed. It was certainly a lot to take in in one night, so Emma didn't press it. She just hugged his shoulder tighter, walking them home.

She put him to bed before walking down to the living room, where her James—or David, she really didn't know—and Mary Margaret were watching TV. She grabbed the remote forcefully and flicked the TV off, glaring at her parents with a Regina-worthy death look.

"If you wanted me to date, you could have just brought it up, like normal people, instead of going to a fucking support group…" Emma started.

"Would you have listened to us?"

"No, probably not. But that's because you're crazy. Regina and I—are just not compatible."

"Funny. I thought that when I first met David. But things change."

Emma rolled her eyes, sick and tired of all the condescension. "Okay, fine. I'll start being nicer to her—maybe let her see Henry more."

That was a hard enough first step. Given the fact that getting Henry to _want_ to see his other mom would be difficult.


	6. Chapter 6

Emma spent all of Sunday morning talking to Henry, trying to get him to see that Regina loved him, and wasn't all bad. Even though she had a hard time believing that last part herself. Even so, she knew that Regina was a good mother, a loving one. She asked Henry to remember all the good times they had had together, before she was in the picture. His forehead crinkled adorably as the memories flashed before his eyes.

"I loved Christmas with her. And she would always take me somewhere special on my birthdays—we would go wherever I want." Henry's eyes glazed over as he said this, and it made Emma's heart melt.

"See? Would a totally evil person go to all that trouble?"

"No, probably not." Henry conceded.

"So…are you going to go see her?"

Henry hesitated for a moment, then nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah."

**Sunday afternoon—Emma, Henry and Regina**

Henry barreled out of her yellow bug—well, more like fell out. He pulled the handle so hard that the door flew open, and next thing Emma knew, he was sprawled out on the sidewalk. She didn't have time to ask if he was okay—Regina was running out of her door, remarkably fast for someone wearing heels.

"Henry, are you all right? What on earth did you do to him, Miss Swan?"

Emma rolled her eyes and Henry answered. "She didn't do anything, mom, I just fell out accidentally."

Regina's eyes softened at his use of the word 'mom,' but not before she casted a withering look Emma's way. All three of them stood there awkwardly for a moment, before Emma seemed to remember why they were there.

"Henry wanted to spend some time with you today, so…here he is." Emma ruffled his hair and knelt down to his eye level. "You call me when you guys are done having fun, okay?"

"Okay." Henry breathed, more than a little nervous.

Henry walked up to the house, not flinching when Regina's hand grazed his shoulder.

"So..."Regina trailed off. "Do you want anything to eat?"

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They ended up having a good time together. Henry suggested they play chess, and Regina smiled and accepted the challenge. He beat her the first time, but she caught him off guard in the second game by bringing her pawn to the other side of the board, then substituting that for a queen. Henry groaned—he had forgotten about that rule. So Regina won that one. They played again, for the best two out of three, and Henry won. He beamed.

"You didn't let me win, right?"

Regina laughed. "No, Henry, I assure you I tried my best. You are the better chess player."

Henry nodded. "I actually wanted to talk…about Emma."

Regina immediately stiffened. "What about her?"

Henry sighed. "She…is acting weird. Both of you are. You usually argue a lot more, but when Emma was here, you guys didn't talk at all."

Regina played with her necklace absent-mindedly, somehow, feeling the cold metal slip through her fingers helped her keep her somewhat calm and cool-headed. "She…and I have nothing to fight about. She's letting me see you; that is good enough."

"But…you two kissed. I know, it's kind of gross, but don't you think…you should talk about it?" Henry said, really uncomfortable. He didn't know much about love—or kissing—that was all gross stuff that grown-ups did. But he did know that if his two moms were to just talk about whatever it was that was going on, it wouldn't be a bad thing.

At least he hoped so.

Regina started putting the chess pieces back in the wooden box. "You shouldn't have to try to fix things between us, Henry. You're only ten. You need to worry about yourself," Regina said, hoping it didn't sound too parental or condescending, because at this stage, she didn't want to drive Henry off again.

**Tuesday—Ruby and Belle**

Ruby brought Belle an iced tea, then sat in the booth with her. Belle lifted an eyebrow, then looked toward the back, where Granny was stationed, yelling at a cook who had burnt the macaroni and cheese _again._

Ruby waved her hand. "It's cool, she knows I'm on break. So how have you been?"

Belle smiled. "Good. I…I'm kind of sad that we won't be able to have those meetings anymore. I liked seeing you there." Belle bit her lip, wanting so badly to say more.

"Yeah, me too. But we're hanging out now. I just wish there was some way we could fix things between them…"

"Or maybe, instead of obsessing over other people's lives, you could focus on what's right in front of you," Belle blurted, then blushed the brightest shade of red Ruby had ever seen. And that was saying something, because her cursed self had owned clothing with every shade of red known to man.

Ruby tilted her head and looked at her friend. "What—"

"I like you, okay? I think you're cute. I have for a while…I just didn't know how to tell you."

The werewolf's eyes shot up past her hairline, if that was even possible. Then she relaxed, spreading her legs farther under the table. "Cool."

"Cool?" Belle repeated. "I spill my guts out to you, and all you have to say is, cool?"

"Cool, because I like you too." Ruby smiled, then took Belle's hand. "Want to meet me after my shift?"

Belle beamed. "Of course."

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Belle grunted. This was not what she had in mind when she agreed to meet Ruby after her shift. She figured, they could go watch a movie, go to dinner, heck, even sit in the library and just talk—but no, Ruby had dragged her to this dark movie theater, saying that she had set up a double date with Emma and Regina. How she managed to do that, Belle had no clue.

The werewolf was definitely clever. And slippery. Belle followed Ruby to one of the rows in the back, afraid she would trip over her own feet.

"What movie is playing?" Belle asked, having not really paid attention when Ruby bought their tickets.

"The Goonies. This theatre is hardly new, so all that plays here are movies from the eighties. Emma and Regina should be here any second."

Belle huffed. "You know, when you asked me to meet you, I figured it was a date..you know, for just you and me."

Ruby turned to her, looking at her with those eyes that she couldn't help but fall into. "I'm sorry, Belle. We'll have that, soon, I promise. I'm just on a mission here, and I'm going to persevere until the end."

"Why is it so important to you that Emma and Regina get together?"

"Honestly, because Emma is Regina's only chance."

That was certainly enough of a reason for Belle to stop complaining, and realize just how imperative it was. She believed in letting people have second chances, after all. So shouldn't Regina get one? She heard footsteps, then saw a shock of blond hair in the darkness. She waved, and Emma walked over to them. She sat down, just thinking it was a girl's night or something. Ruby's text had been pretty vague.

"So, the Goonies, huh?" Emma asked. "Great movie."

"Yeah, it is." Ruby nudged her friend, playfully, but Belle almost throttled the Sherriff. She was definitely the jealous type, it turned out. She just had to keep repeating the mantra in her head that she was doing this so Regina could be happy.

Said woman finally showed up, miraculously. When Ruby had texted her to come, it was a gamble that she would even show up. So she had lied and said that Henry was there…that would probably come back to bite Ruby in the ass, but she would deal with that later.

Regina saw Emma, then turned tail.

Ruby practically shoved her friend out of the row, telling her to go after the former evil queen.

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"Regina, wait up!" Emma called. Who knew she could walk so damn fast in heels? What did they have on them, turbo rockets?

"Did you plan this?" Regina turned on Emma, stopping her short. Her face was flushed; she was pretty angry. Her eyes were flashing.

"Plan what? I was just having a girl's night. Why are you even here?"

Regina laughed humorlessly and stepped closer, which Emma took notice of. "I should have known Ruby was lying. She said Henry was here, and that he wanted to watch the Goonies with me."

Emma rolled her eyes. She loved the girl, but sometimes, Ruby just didn't know when to give up. "I'm sorry. I'll be sure to tell her to stay out of our business."

"Miss Swan, I think you know as well as I that they—that NO ONE in this town is going to leave us alone, until we're married and have at least ten children."

Emma stifled a laugh at that, almost swearing she could see a little humor in Regina's eyes too. "So, you're saying we should—give this a shot?" Whatever _this_ was.

Regina stepped back, suddenly realizing what was happening. She shook her head, violently. "No, not at all. I—I think we should just—"

But again, Emma knew just how to shut Regina up. She gave Regina no quarter, but stepped back into her personal space. "_I _think we should give it a shot. You know, go on a date."

Regina frowned. "Quite a different tune that what you were singing before, Sherriff."

"Yeah, I know. But Henry reminded me of something. You're not evil. And I—I liked kissing you. That's why I ran away. I was scared."

"So…a date."

Emma laughed. "I feel like I'm stuck in the movie _Enchanted._ Yes, Regina, a date. You know, where two people who like each other go out in public?"

Regina shook her head. "I've never been on one of those."

Emma let shock take over. "What? You have to be kidding."

"No. Dating isn't really part of a medieval courtship.

"Well then, we'll have to fix that. Come back inside with me so we can watch this movie. That will count as a date."

"Fine. But I really don't want those two—"

"Don't worry. I'm sure if I tell Ruby to get lost, she'll be happy to."


	7. Chapter 7

Emma walked back into the Grand theatre, with Regina stepping gingerly behind her, as if there were land mines littered on the ground. She still didn't understand what a 'date' really entailed; would Miss Swan try to take advantage of her? Would she expect a kiss, or something more, by the end of the night? Regina shuddered to think about it. She didn't want to open herself up to this woman, just to get rejected. That had happened too many times before. Regina had lived in a world crueler than Miss Swan had known, where the rules were constricting and set in stone, and Regina couldn't help but wonder how Emma would have turned out if she had grown up in the Enchanted Forest.

Regina walked into the theatre, having already paid, and Emma scooted into a seat in dead center, to get a good view. Ruby and Belle soon left, and Regina was glad. She didn't want there to be any witnesses to what she was sure would be a total debacle.

She sighed and sat next to Emma, who looked too relaxed and...happy? How dare she? Regina thought. This was just a date to ensure that the rest of the townspeople would stop bothering them, it was nothing more. Regina would treat it like a business transaction to ensure her peace of mind-and then it would be done and she could go back home, to her books and her empty house.

It struck her just how lonely she was.

"Do you want some of my butterfingers?"

Regina looked at the blond with a quizzical expression. She saw Emma holding a yellow box, and sneered. "No thank you, Miss Swan." She had no desire to put whatever those brown things were into her mouth.

"Emma. And you're totally missing out." Emma tossed up one of the candies and it landed in her mouth.

Regina just stared at the screen, watching as some kids used a Rube Goldberg machine to open their front gate. It was clever, Regina had to admit.

"That must have taken a long time for them to set up," Regina commented.

Emma nodded. "Yeah. Kids really are creative."

That was the closest they came to talking about kids, or family, or anything else that they both had in common-which was Henry. The thing that stretched out between them, but always ended up snapping back, pulling them together like a rubber band. It was inevitable that they were stuck with each other. At least until Henry turned 18. So for the next seven and a half years, Regina had to play nice with the other mother of her child, however much she just wanted to kill her and be done with it. But Henry would never forgive her for that, of course.

Maybe the best way to torture Miss Swan was to date her. Be the bitchiest girlfriend on the face of the earth. Regina smirked at the thought. She could spend all of her money on shoes, cry about everything and hate all of her best friends, and if that didn't work, be disgusting. Regina hoped she wouldn't have to resort to that. She shifted her weight, actually chuckling at the chubby kid's antics. She noticed Emma's eyes on her and turned to look at her, quirking an eyebrow.

"You having fun?" Emma asked, smirking.

Regina stared back at the screen, not sure how to answer. "It's not the worst evening I've had, since most of them have been spent alone."

Emma smiled. "I'm having a good time too."

"I didn't say—"

"You didn't have to."

Regina stayed silent. There was no winning with this woman. Anything she said would just bounce off the blond, with no harm done. If this was what dating was like, Regina was glad she had no part of it back in the Enchanted Forest. It was so confusing. Medieval courtship involved princes fighting for your honor, or rescuing damsels in distress. Not taking them to dirty theatres late at night and watching a movie about a bunch of kids looking for treasure.

"Tell me more about courtship in your world." Regina demanded. "Are we expected to get married at the end of the night?"

Emma nearly choked on the soda she was drinking. She coughed for a good minute, Regina wondering if she should call the hospital. At least that would get her out of this awkward date.

Emma recovered, however, then wiped her mouth with her sleeve. "Um…no, we don't have to do anything you're not ready for. _I'm_ sure as hell not ready to marry you." Emma scoffed.

"Do be serious. I just have never dated before. I'm new at it. Does there need to be more than one of these dates?"

"Again, only if you want it." Emma sighed.

"So…you're saying you would ask me out again?"

Emma gulped. "Maybe. Let's just see how this date goes, ok?"

"But…all we're doing is watching a movie. Shouldn't you be duelling a knight for me?"

Emma's peals of laughter rang out through the whole theatre, and Regina huffed angrily. This was a serious matter. What kind of courtship would this be if Emma wasn't willing to fight for her? That's what the knights had done, when she was married to King Leopold. The sentries would hold whole tournaments in her honor.

"Regina, we're not in your world. Things work differently here. Now shut up and watch the movie."

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The air bit at Regina's face as she walked out of the theatre, Emma stomping beside her, trying to make tracks in the one inch of snow that had fallen while they were inside the theatre. The snow flakes were light and wet on Regina's tongue, and she bundled her black coat around her tighter, surprised that Emma wasn't shivering in only her leather jacket.

"That was interesting." Regina concluded.

"Yeah. I guess we have Ruby and Belle to thank for it."

Regina huffed. "Remind me to get a shock collar for the werewolf, so I can—"

"You're not operant conditioning my friend." Emma laughed.

"But she—and the whole town—keeps insinuating themselves in our business. I won't have it. I think that—" Regina stopped. Emma had been smiling at her during this rant, and she stepped close to Regina, wrapping her arms around her. The snowflakes were falling around them, and it was quite romantic. Regina frowned. "What are you doing?"

"Shutting you up." Emma smirked again, which Regina didn't like. She was tired of Emma thinking she could just do whatever she wanted in this courtship, which, by the way, was the strangest courtship Regina had ever been in. She opened her mouth to say this, but lips covered her own in a sweet, searing kiss that had Regina breathless from the first moment. The kiss was similar to the one before, but sweeter, almost, and less about control than intimacy. Emma opened her mouth against Regina's nibbling on her lip softly.

Regina moaned and flicked her tongue in Emma's mouth, losing herself in the sensation of peace that flared inside of her. All of her resolutions to be a terrible girlfriend dissolved. She clutched at Emma's jacket, burying her hands in the material.

"Don't run away this time," Regina whispered between kisses.

Emma just kissed her harder. They stood like that for a good minute, lips moving together rhythmically. Finally, they broke apart, and Emma smiled, reflecting genuine happiness.

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Cora shut the telescope, handing it back to Captain Hook. She turned back, as the pirate kept watching the two women kiss, smirking at what he saw.

"Put the telescope down, you perverse moron." Cora commanded. "That's my daughter, making out with the savior. I have no idea how to salvage this. How will my daughter ever fulfill her potential if 'love' keeps getting in her way?"

"Well," Hook said, pocketing the telescope, "I could try to seduce Emma, you know, steal her away from Regina." The pirate grinned.

"Of course. Then my daughter will be truly broken."

"Lovely," Hook said sarcastically, earning him a glare from the Queen of Hearts.

**Sunday—Town square**

Regina didn't know how it had come to this. She looked down at the sword her hand was clutching, then back at her enemy—the one who was trying to steal Emma from her. The hook attached to his hand glinted in the sunlight, and the townspeople were watching, lined up on opposite sides of the street. The former queen glared at Hook, daring him to come closer. She could best him. She would prove to everyone—Emma included—who the better dueler was. Emma would be hers. She didn't care if her mother wanted better for her—whatever that meant. Emma was the freaking savior, how much better could she do? The fact that Emma was her redemption was enough for her.

She raised her sword and beckoned Hook with her left hand. He ran towards her, swinging his sword forward. She braced herself, grabbing her sword with both hands. She knew she had Henry's permission to use magic—he had come to her before the duel and told her so—but she wanted to knock Hook on his ass without it. She wanted this to be a fair fight. And it wouldn't be if with a flick of her hand, she caused his thyroid bone to break, and consequently stop his breathing.

He knew she could use magic, too. He knew how powerful she was. So why was he going through with this?

Regina knew the answer to that. Her mother. She didn't know where she was—she had been in hiding, but she knew that she was allies with the pirate before her.

Metal hit metal as Hook brought his sword forward, aimed at her ribs. She parried and hit back, her biceps screaming as the swords hit each other. She checked her footing for a split second, then brought her eyes to meet the pirate's. He was smirking at her, so sure of himself, like he had won already. The interesting thing was, Emma was watching in the sidelines, calmly sitting there with Henry and her parents. That certainly hadn't been her reaction to begin with.

**-Flashback—Friday-Emma, Regina, Cora and Hook**

Emma stacked the papers on her desk together neatly. She checked her watch. It was 4:58 pm. _Good enough,_ she thought, and went to punch her card out. She wasn't sure where her paycheck was coming from, given that Regina wasn't really Mayor anymore. She would have to talk about that, maybe on their next date. If there was one.

She stopped cold when a puff of purple smoke practically engulfed the room. She was about to scream, thinking that maybe there was another curse coming, but instead, Cora and Hook were standing in the middle of the police station. But worse, Regina was with them, tied and gagged. She rushed to the brunette, but Cora threw her back with a powerful gust of magic.

Her back hit one of the desks, and she winced as stars danced in front of her eyes. She blinked and pulled herself in a standing position, grabbing her gun on her holster, ready to fire. But there were no bullets. Cora suddenly held them in her hand, waving it tauntingly.

"Where the hell have you been? And why is Regina tied up?" Emma growled, knowing she was powerless against the woman.

"Good questions, Sherriff. I assure you that I am doing this for your own good. Word around town is that you two have sparked a romance."

Emma rolled her eyes. "We went on one date."

"What's a date?" Cora frowned.

Emma groaned loudly. "Not you too. It's our world's way of courting."

"Oh. Well you need to stop." Cora commanded.

"Who's gonna make me?"

Hook stepped out from behind Cora. "I am. I will duel Regina for your hand. No pun intended."

Emma rolled her eyes again. "This is fucking ridiculous. I am not going to let Regina and Hook fight over me."

Regina shook her head violently when Emma said that, and Cora laughed. "If you don't, I will take Henry from you both. I will take him under my wing, and I'll teach him all kinds of dark magic. You don't want that, do you, Emma?"

Emma definitely didn't want that. She was sure Regina didn't either, judging by the horrified look in her chocolate brown eyes.

Emma grit her teeth and said, "Fine. When is this duel for my honor taking place?"

"Sunday, noon. Be there or I will make good on my promises." Cora and Hook disappeared, leaving Regina sitting against the metal desk.

Emma rushed to untie her, and pulled the gag from her mouth. "Are you okay?"

"No. I had forgotten how terrible my mother was until that moment. She used to tie me up when I was a child too." Tears brimmed in Regina's eyes, and Emma's heart screamed to comfort her.

"I'm sorry." She was crap at comforting people, usually. She didn't really know what else to say, so she patted Regina's hair softly and let her cry. They stayed like that for a good fifteen minutes, then Regina straightened up, pulling a handkerchief out of the pocket of her blazer and dried her eyes.

Emma broke the silence. "Are you really going to fight for me?"

Regina laughed, though her eyes were still red from crying. "Yes, princess, I am."

-**End Flashback—**

Regina brushed the sweat from her eyes frantically, blinking against the sun. She focused on Hook, blocking out all the outside noise from the townspeople, who were rather entertained by this display. A reminder of the old world, Regina mused. She narrowed her eyes, then swung her broadsword—Charming's sword, actually. The same one that Emma had used to slay Maleficent. She parried madly, her arms tired and her back tight. Still, she wouldn't stop. Hook still had a spring to his step, but to the trained eye, he was getting tired as well. His blows weren't as hard as they were in the beginning. They had been dueling for about a half-an-hour.

Regina stepped forward, pushing into Hook's space, using the proximity to make short sweeps with her sword, which saved some energy. She stepped back again, sweeping once more. She was blindsighted when Hook parried, then slashed his hook across her forehead. Blood came trickling down, into her eyes, but she kept fighting, until Hook knocked her down with his sword hand. He left her there, then walked over to Emma.

"I guess this means we go on a date, Emma." Hook wiped his cheek with his sleeve.

Emma folded her arms. "I'd rather eat worms."

Hook smirked. "I could just go get Cora, so she can collect Henry."

"I'd never let that happen. I don't care if she's a fucking sorceress. She can't get past me. Or Regina."

"But she already has." Hook pointed back to where Regina had laid only moments before. She was gone. Emma panicked. Cora had kidnapped Regina.

She grabbed Hook by the collar, frustrated when his eyes lit up at the contact. "Where are they?" She yelled.

"I'm not telling. Not unless you go on a date with me. That's what it's called right? A date?"

Emma groaned for the millionth time that day.

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The crowd soon dissipated, but Snow, Charming, Granny, Ruby, Belle and Henry stayed, trying to comfort Emma.

"We'll find her, Emma. We'll get her back." Henry said, in that optimistic way of his that made Emma want to just cry more.

She stepped onto the sidewalk, grateful for the shade from the building. "I think we need to call a meeting. You know, those support group meetings that you guys held every week? Only this time, we'll figure out how to beat Cora."

**Thanks for the reviews, everyone! Oh, and if you think I have this genius master plan, let your illusions be shattered—I've been winging it this whole time. I really have no idea what's going to happen next. But that's what keeps it fun!**


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